Shuffle round HarmOCD.com for a while and you will see there’s multiple things you can do for yourself to facilitate healing and bring end to this “thing”.
And indeed there are multiple levels on which you can front this, and multiple things you can and probably should have in your healing knapsack to bring about this “ultimate aim”.
My promise to you is: I will persist in pointing towards them.
By the same token, I also mean to highlight any hindrances and clear up confusions you may find on your way.
In short, I’m not going to hold anything back if I think I can help you.
However, due to the developing nature of this website, and my writing of an e-book on Harm OCD, it’s become clear to me that much is on hold that could be helping you forward.
Therefore I have created this page to note some pointers for your perusal, which you can in due course check out more fully yourself.
Check them out. It is my strong knowing that anything included on this website will be beneficial towards your recovery from Harm OCD.
Note: some of what’s included here will be expanded upon and shifted elsewhere, after a time.
Harm OCD: the conflict between choice and interpretation
It’s difficult to see through the pangs of Harm OCD the actuality of your experience as being a conflict between choice and interpretation. But it is.
Recovery will confirm this.
The hard part for you right now is believing this is so: that if I were to ask you a million times if you want to hurt somebody, a million times under the disquietude of your Harm OCD you would answer me “No!” – that if a million times I were to ask you if you want to get better from this, a million times you would answer me “Yes!”
It’s only your body doesn’t seem to want to corroborate this; it is making such a commotion it is drowning “you” out.
So when right now your mind seems tyrant and wild be heedful of this: your constant is choice.
Corroboration is lacking for now. But only for now. Your body will heal and all this mind-fuss will quieten down and by and by you will see a gap widen between “you” and this thing.
And that’s you headed to cure.
The Law of Least Effort
By virtue of striving so ardently against Harm OCD, we typify the belief that peace (peace of mind) is a thing that has to be fought for. Except in the final analysis we may only say with any veracity that peace is “what is” when the fighting has stopped.
But when you’ve got “this” that’s a scary idea. Our mistake is we falsely assume that to stop fighting this things means it will surely consume us. But trust me it won’t. Recovery cannot be snatched at. Just as you try to grab it, it will slip from your fist – it has to fall onto an open hand.
This means you need to relax. You need to get easy about the idea of your recovery coming through less effort, not more – because the cooler you are, the less flustered you are, the less you tense up against what you so clearly don’t want, the less you are exciting the fear and worry hormone adrenaline into your system and the less, thereon, you will be plagued by this “terror”.
Good for what ails you:
Chunks of Normality
Forget winning the lottery, with Harm OCD our greatest desire is just to feel normal and happy again; to get away from the upset and the prospect of “more”. But how?
Ironically in most cases a sense of normality is seldom restored through immersing ourselves in normal everyday activities such as our work, but instead the “new”, offering break from places that remind us of our suffering, as well as a change of groove and company.
What we’re alluding to here is, of course: engrossing ourselves in activity to the exclusion of brooding. That is, health-giving or creative pursuits of sufficient interest, that also demand our fullest attention.
Below are a few suggestions for you. But try what appeals. So long as it is interesting enough, demanding enough – a project perhaps, something pleasingly different, some daily challenge, nothing workaday – then it will do you great good.
Remember the purpose is to find respite from grim introspection and your harming obsessions. To make less dark your days.
Although much appears to be wrong, these little chunks of normality can help you gather inner strength and gain a much needed sense of constancy by doing something deliberate to break what I like to refer to as the “impetus cycle” i.e. the discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, leading toexaggerated emotional excitement or restlessness, leading to catastrophic misinterpretations of bodily sensations, leading to further discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, leading to the spiraling of Harm OCD and all the…you get the point.
So it unifies mind, body, and spirit, tames the stress response, decreases physiological arousal – i.e. reduces heart rate, lowers blood pressure, eases respiration – improves posture, counters stiffness, the hardening of the arteries, hormonal fluctuations, depression and loss of bone density etc. But what about Harm OCD?
Well, here’s what I think – you need to give it a go. All exercise burns off nervous energy, but Yoga in particular makes great use of stretching poses, breathing practices, deep relaxation, and meditation, to calm your mind and oxygenate every cell in your body so that by the end of each class you are going to feel somewhat more reinforced and “won back” than before. Moreover, because it’s a pretty involving scene, it offers exactly the right kind of respite from all those lingering fears and queasy misgivings you might have about your violent obsessions.
It’s probably fair to say that Tai Chi’s a little less physically challenging than Yoga – even so, the gains for a bearer of Harm OCD are much and the same. By combining deep breathing and relaxation with slow and gentle movements, Tai Chi, like Yoga, oxygenates the body and calms down the mind and thus allays so much of the tension prolonging this “monitored state”. That is, when you feel soothed and somewhat more relaxed, you suffer far less the feeling you’re Harm OCD is just round the corner, and thus begin creating gaps in which your spirit can lift, and your body can heal.
Pilates is similar to Yoga and Tai Chi in that it has an emphasis on aligning your breath with coordinated movements; it also evokes a meditative quality as you focus inward for the duration of the workout, concentrating on the detail, form and execution of each particular exercise.
Again, we can’t over-emphasize the importance of this. With the right kind of occupation we can give our mind rest and experience flow and relaxation within the body, instead of contraction. And so doing, our confidence rises; for then we can know, instead of stumbling through hours in confusion and fear, we can purposely change how we feel – maybe not in an instant, but by applying ourselves in ways that more fully absorb us – we regain a sense of control, and this can make such a big difference.
A quick note on the above before we continue
To be sure, the more an activity engages us, the more the it takes our mind off our anxiety, the more value it has to our recovery.
Be mindful, however, relief comes in doses, and de-escalating our Harm OCD is for most of us a gradual process of decline and increase, an ebbing and flowing that, as we gain insight into its nature and continue to do what’s prescribed, eventually loses it power to concern us at all.
Chunks of Normality continued…
While there’s a mass load of information out there on why the aforementioned disciplines are good for you, and we’ve uploaded some products here for you to peruse in case you want to study them at home, it’s quite simply hard to deny the synergistic benefits, and setting, of a nice friendly class. A good instructor can correct anything that isn’t quite right, as well as provide the support and encouragement we all need in the beginning, and answer any questions we might care to ask. And usually there’s a good vibe in such places we can gain a lift from.
Fundamentally returning to a full and balanced existence calls for us to be far less constrained by our fears and progressively more outgoing as they subside; and because they help us relax and connect with our innermost self as well as other people, such diversions from our Harm OCD can really become social situations we can look forward to.
Having things we can look forward to is so, so, important, and helps us break link with the headset of dark days ahead. We can feel, through the repeated experience of engaging in something specific that we enjoy, a sense of surety rising that we are now heading back to a more normal life.
We can also more readily see how we’ve allowed what we’re observing in our mind and our body to confirm something that just isn’t accurate, because now we feel different…now we note change, gap between us and the “impetus cycle” that at times plunges us deep in “a terror of what we’ve become”, gaps and glimpses of our truth that will ultimately, due to their increasing frequency, result in the gradual diminution of our concern for our Harm OCD and its eventual cure.
Finding what works for you
Organised classes and sports clubs will naturally be able to offer you much needed assistance and motivation, but don’t let this put you off any solo adventure you may like to try. There are many things you can do by yourself that will hold your attention and require neither technical expertise nor much in the way of equipment or expense. These include: walking, running/jogging, swimming, cycling, dancing, aerobics. So long as you’re absorbed fully in them, there’s the respite you need.
As with anything regular practice pays dividends, so be easy at first; don’t expect miracles, be realistic. Think in terms of just gaining a little relief. The overriding need to be better must be relaxed, because this neediness is tension, and tension has to be released if you want to get better.
Chunks of Normality can and will loosen you up – again, just be aware, it’s a gradual process, don’t overdo things.
I know it is hard to believe but there is a place of peace within you ravaged not one jot by your Harm OCD, and it most certainly is possible for you to gain a real sense of it through your continued and intense engagement in one or all of the above activities, even as your body feels somewhat “jangled”.
In addition you can enhance your awareness of it by surrendering yourself to the power of Reiki, wherein the “laying on of hands” can provide what we may term as a “spiritual healing”. Immediate benefits from Reiki may include the releasing of tension, improved sleep, a feeling of being more settled in yourself and better able to cope with your Harm OCD.
A deeply healed self is the goal of your journey. Harmony with life through your developing ability to heal issues that are current for you. This is the spiritual path. The path of growth. The path of commitment for a life of joy, peace, and beauty – because it is yours to create. No one else can do it for you.
So go from here.
If you have Harm OCD, you’ve really no option but to go from here.
But make that commitment, starting now, regardless of where you are with this…where you want to be in life lies ahead of you.
Look forward to that.
A Big Change
Harm OCD forces big change. But sure enough, when we look back on any any perceived “tough” event that has occurred in the past, often we see how in fact it has transformed our life for the good. We see how that event directed us toward a life that we would not change for anything. Harm OCD is no different. It hits you hard at first, but on the other side of it, you can be absolutely certain there’s a new path for you containing many delights you otherwise may not have had the time or the sensibility to enjoy had you continued to live as before.
Be sure of this: rushed, stressed life is no life at all – and not for you on the other side of this, when you’ve piled out of the misery of it, and each day you wake vivified with a promise made to yourself that you will no more live it for others, but for yourself.
Banish Sad Remembrance
Live as much as possible in what pleases you, and think to do more of what you have always enjoyed.
Yes, this is not always easy. Harm OCD can cause you to avoid certain places and social situations that once brought you pleasure. Nevertheless, make it your habit to see what you can recall from your past with pleasure and profit, and forgo sad remembrance. It will not feed your spirit, and feeding your spirit is what you must do.
Do what you can…
…without pushing yourself over the limit, – but please, remember: pursuance is key. Everything on the site will help you with this. It’s just if you’re undecided in formation of key habits – because sometimes, it’s true, improvement can happen so slowly and subtly you might hardly notice – and you waver and question the worth of the course that you’ve taken, then you’re not going to see the results you desire as quick as you’d like.
A certain trust is needed with this.
Faith that you have found the right information and a willingness to feel your way with it, through to fruition.
Otherwise it’s like crossing the Atlantic and getting so far before turning back…just when, if you’d only kept going, the distant shore neared.
Welcome to HarmOCD.com
As this site is under development - I've so much content to write! - I have uploaded some Amazon widgets I hope will contain a variety of fitting restorative products for you to peruse.
In due course I will be reviewing these products and pointing you towards those I feel most pertinent for your full recovery from Harm OCD. Some I will include purely for their spirit lifting genius, others because I think they are awesome. Watch this space.
In this regard a large part of my recovery was thanks to well written words and I can't overestimate the value of having a good book at hand when your other Towers of Strength aren't nearby. Make books your friends.
Also, as Harm OCD is so far from our innermost nature, as I hope to explain throughout this website, I'd like to point you towards a variety "openers", I'm sure will enable you to see this truth for yourself.
I would have you explore, amongst other things, the Bach Flower Remedies, Meditation, and Reiki. Remember to be good to yourself. Soothe yourself. Pamper yourself. Nourish yourself. Rest. You'll get there, I promise.